Have the Courage to Change

by Will
(Canada)

Posted this in the comments to someone's post, but it is not showing up. As i had written it in word, I could re-post it here. Hope that's OK?

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It is important to know your true self. We have all been so conditioned by our parents, society, the rules and customs of the geographical location and the time when you grew up.

Before I started to discover myself, I thought i knew it all and had no real problems. I did have a feeling of being unfulfilled but chose to ignore this. I made myself so busy that I didn't have time to reflect.

Then I began to acknowledge that I was not happy and didn't like many things about the way i was living my life. the problem was i knew what i disliked but was not in touch with my true self. I realized my spouse was conditioning me, including the way i was thinking.

I was hungry for something more profound. But there is a resistance to change and growing and changing causes some emotional problems as well as problems with the people who want to control you and human nature is to stay in your comfort zone with what is familiar.

Until we realize a new way of living is better for us in the long-run we will do our best to maintain the status quo.

Have the courage to move out of your comfort zone and make the necessary changes to your life.

Because it is difficult to initiate change ourselves many begin the path of self discover after a traumatic event such as the loss of a loved-one, job, illness, near death experience etc.

Take time to get to know yourself. Ask yourself questions such as "Do I need more activity and stimulation or am I doing too much and need to slow down? What situations make me angry, what do i need to let go of, who do I need to forgive? What do I need to change to become more authentic, and live my life with more integrity and purpose?"

Ask for help if you need it. You might have been told to stand up on your own two feet, be a man, and not look outside ourselves if we have a problem. It might be admit we need help but no man is an island. We might need help from outside when we have problems with low self-esteem, co-dependence, or alcoholism.

Sometimes a self help group can be the answer as people who have similar issues can identify with yours and are often the best teachers and mentors.

When you begin changing, often family members feel threatened and you do not have their encouragement and support of family members, so outside support is very important.