I had surgery and my life quality is worse than before

I wish I had known about this before, My doctor never told me this could happen. I had surgery for stress incontinence over a year ago but the surgeon put the sling too tight and I couldn't urinate at all after the surgery I had to be catherized for 6 weeks. They said said I had to heal from the first surgery before he could go in and cut the strap.

A second surgery 6 more weeks later to put another strap. This one worked for the Stress incontinence but I now have de novo urge urinary incontinence. Its so frustrating for me, I was told this would probably correct itself and that my body needed 12 weeks to heal from the surgeries.

Its now been 9 months or more since the second surgery and I have urge incontinence worse than ever. Today I wet myself on the way to work, not just a little leakage but I was totally soaked through and had to turn around and go home. Is there really anything else they can do to fix this? I am only 50. I don't want to be in diapers for the rest of my life

I'm afraid any further surgery will just make the situation worse and I am embarrassed to talk about my problems - friends just avoid me if i do.